Adventures with Abe

All I want is what is what is coming to me... All I want is my fair share.

When we worked at summer camp, Dominique and I used to supplement our extremely meager incomes (no really... it was a sweatshop on a lake) with articles of clothing and snack treats from the camp store right next to the Hut. My "bonuses" included various polar fleece items, a hat (with earflaps no less), at least one sweatshirt, numerous child size shirts, and enough Cherry Coke, Nestle Crunch Bars and m&m's to open a small store that only sells Cherry Coke, Nestle Crunch Bars and m&m's.

Abe was supposed to give me a bonus last month, but instead - I got a smaller increase in workload. Don' t ask me about it, I'll just get angry(-er). My purse is now filled with post-it's and nice pens. These Lincoln mugs are looking pretty nice - it would be nice to have a matching set. They don't have Cherry Coke here in the Client's Only fridge - but CocaCola Classic is a fine substitute when free.

My surroundings change, but I stay the same.

posted by LauraDorf @ 10:39 AM 3 comments

I can't let this go...

It's been a while - I know. I think I'm getting a new job. No announcements until decisions have been made.

Anyways - a guy from my office who has questionable sexuality (and a wife who looks like maybe she was a he at one point...) came into my cubicle today. This is not relevant to the story - just try to hear it all in an oddly effeminate voice, and with every sentence ending with the word, "okay." I used to have small talk with him when I worked at the front desk, but honestly - that was my job then. Now my job is to put my head down and power through the loads of crap that come my way.

So there I was, head down, not even staring longingly towards the kitchen or exit, when he came and stood at the entrance of my cubicle. He said "You will probably get a kick out of this..."

Now - usually stories that start like that involve places I've been to (Seattle, Cancun), popular television shows I'm known to enjoy (The Office, Lost), or general interests.

"You will probably get a kick out of this, my son is in New York..."

OK, I used to go to New York a few times a month. Sure, it's a popular place with many sights and things to do. Even a lot of my favorite TV shows are based in New York (if you work in an office you know that TV, like Pope John Paul II, is the Great Unifier - look it up.)

"You will probably get a kick out of this, my son is in New York at a Star Trek auction."

WHAT?! No kicks here. None.

What did he see in me that made me think that I like Star Trek? I've never talked about it at work, ever. I'm too young to have ever really enjoyed it while it was on TV or in theaters and C'mon - I'm cool! (No offense JK...) Maybe his son is my age and all of his friends are Trekkies (Trekkers?). But this only solidifies the fact that I don't really know this man very well - why would he stop to talk to me about Star Trek - at length?

Apparently my eyes glazing over and me glancing towards the aforementioned kitchen and exits didn't register with him. He listed off almost everything that is up for auction and their ridiculous price tags. His son brought $1,000 and "probably won't even come home with a paperclip." Then I was regaled with stories about how you can bid at the auction, you can bid by phone OR on the internet! It's just like every other store in America, only you can't use credit cards. The worst part was that while sharing this "great" and "interesting" story, he was leaning on my cubicle wall. He was not just signifying that the story was going to be long, so he'd have to be comfortable - but also blocking my only exit.

Finally it was over, and I escaped to the ladies room. On my way I stopped to check my mail - today, consisting only of a Highlights magazine.

I'm a 4 year old trekkie.

posted by LauraDorf @ 1:57 PM 0 comments